part 11
a trek into the woods
We drove for about an hour and a half. Vav took a turn off the highway onto a dirt road, and even with the high-beams on, it was pretty dark. I sat there quietly, and Vav had turned off the radio so I couldn't hum along.
The windows were down so that we could hear, and it was nearing eleven when Vav turned at a big rock on the side of the road. The truck bounced a bit off-road, but it was nothing serious. I was pretty nervous, and not really sure where we were going.
Eventually we pulled up, and Vav told me to get out, we walked for ages, until the came to a rocky climb. Vav hauled me up, we passed a stream, and we walked for about twenty minutes more. It felt like I was on a journey to fucking Mordor.
Vav stopped when we came to a couple of large rocks that had a strip of blue material between them.
"Okay." She said. "Here we are." I shone my torch around, there were just more rocks, but we were on an elevated spot, looking over an expanse of flat earth. Vav slung her back pack off her back and pulled out some steaks. She threw them out like discs, and they landed about ten metres away.
"They should come tonight." She said. "It's the season for it. But be quiet."
I went to speak but Vav touched my arm, and her hand pressed over my lips.
So, no talking.
We waited longer, as something snuffled along. Then there were more, many more. Vav grabbed my arm and pulled me up so I was standing,
"Be prepared to run, if it's the wrong type." She said. There was a click, as her torch lit the area.
They were chittering. They looked-God- they looked a bit like caterpillars. But each was about as round and long as a regular sized fire- hydrant.
Their backs were crusted with soil, and their faces were strange, beaked, with huge black pupils on either side of their heads.
A couple of heads swiveled towards the light, and they shrieked, as though in pain.
Vav started pulling me away.
"Let's go, let's go." She said.
The steaks were gone, so these things had to be carnivorous, when one of them hissed at me, like a snake. It's body began to quiver. It curled up, like a spitting cobra. Which, in hindsight, should have been enough of a warning. Their beaks clacked and the chittering got louder. It's underbody revealed, small sets of legs twitching with little spade-like claws, and a slit opened up from where the rest of its shaking belly rested on the ground.
Vav swore and pulled me, but a shot of what I think was piss- hit me on the collarbone and neck. The torch was off them, then.
"Come on." Vav said. "Did it get you?" We began to pick our way quickly- back to the Car, but it was at least a forty minute walk over loose rocks and changing inclines.
"Yes." I said, and my skin began to itch, heating up.
"Yes."
"Fuck." If you've ever had a migraine, you understand this pain. I could hardly talk, my legs kept slipping, and I felt like someone had picked me up, drilled some holes in my skull, and then dropped my down a fucking well. My eyes kept tearing up, and at one point Vav was pouring water down the side of my head. I felt like the skin where the piss hit me was gone, that I had to be pissing blood to feel this level of sensitivity- and I kept reaching up to feel it.
"It'll be fine." She said, but her voice was too loud.
"Come on, idiot. It's fine. There's hardly a mark."
Let it be known that Vav is a piece of shit- second only to Jeff the tall man. We got back to the car. All I could hear was static and that high-pitched noise you get stuck in your head, and I had no control over which way my head was lolling. I was bleeding from a couple of places- all places I'd fallen, tripped or slipped. Vav said later- it was lucky I was ragdolling about the place, because if I'd not- I might have broken something more.
I became more aware of my headache sometime while I was slumped against the window- my blood had left a nice imprint on the glass. We drove for a while; and the next thing I was whimpering and trying to escape from some really fucking bright lights.
"Hiking." I heard Vav say, then, "Clumsy, terrible. Hadn't lost consciousness."
I was able to refocus enough to realize that Vav, champion of the people, had bothered bringing me to a clinic. While not a full hospital, it would do for now. At first I thought Vav would take me home right away and try to treat me herself, but I think she knows that head injuries are something to be checked out. It turns out at one point that I'd been stumbling, I went down like a bag of shit and cracked my head on a rock- only I didn't hit any regular bit of my skull- instead it was my eye socket. I had an orbital fracture.
I had to take a ride in an Ambulance to the hospital, and have a CT scan to look for blood behind my eye, and the severity of the break.
As it turns out, I am incredibly lucky when it comes to orbital fractures.
I got to shower at the hospital, with assistance of a cool male nurse- and within 48 hours — I was home free.
"The battered spouse clinic is not here, Love." Said Rooster. "But with a shiner like that, I can see why you're having trouble."
"Fuck off." Back at work a couple of days later, I was rostered on to work night shift with Rooster. I didn't want Matt to have a look at my face, so I kept it to myself.
Rooster was watching that episode of Ren and Stimpy where Ren is an insomniac- while I was happy to not be on a property where every caterpillar, grub, and worm made me cringe.
At about 1 1 pm, the Ice Box outside stopped working. I was behind the till, and Rooster was re-stocking one of the fridges when it happened. The regular clunk happened, followed by a high-pitched whine. Rooster came sliding up to the glass only a few seconds later, and stared at the Ice Box.
"Is it off?" He asked, staring at it.
It was a Tuesday, so Iced Coffee (weird guy who always bought like 8 bags of ice) would probably be coming in soon, and he always complained if the ice "wasn't as cold."
Dude its fucking ice.
Blue Tue 28 Jan 2014 No.14089765 Quoted By:
Rule one, of working the night shift here still hasn't changed.
Do not leave the store.
But I can see Rooster looking at the Ice Box. It would take like two seconds to just go out and check. Rooster is still considering it, when this person OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE IS STANDING IN FRONT OF THE DOORS. Like, I didn't see them come up, neither did Rooster. He jumps, and this guy is standing there, in a white singlet and a pair of jeans. No shoes. And he's doing the hand holdy thing out and I can still hardly see out of one of my fucking eyes, and Rooster waves his hands around like a fucko.
"Open the Door." Rooster says, So I flick the switch and the doors open smoothly.
This guy is all smiles and shit and he says G'day to Rooster and for a moment I wonder if homo but this guy has really hairy toes, so, no homo.
He disappeared into an aisle and before the door could close, Rooster slipped through and went over to the Ice Box, leaving me alone with this fucking guy. I was standing there like a limpet and then I watch a packet of Samboy chips wobble on the shelf diagonally across from me, and then it fucking LAUNCHES itself off the shelf and lands on the ground behind the till. I was on ibuprofen/codeine pills, so I was staring at this packet of chips and trying not to drool on myself, when weird guy clears his throat.
I ring up his purchases, two strawberry gums, a coke, and a kit kat. A Bottle of coke exploded in the fridge that Rooster was just restocking.
"Just this?" I ask.
Weird guy nods.
"Yes, just these thank you." A packet of fishermans mints starts ejects itself from the little mint stand next to me, and I'm getting this guys change. I can hear another couple of boxes of tissues come off the top shelf, and Marvin is stomping angrily around the store.
This guy looks at where it fell, and says,
"Stop."
Quiet as anything.
And the weirder part is, Marvin does. The guy raised his index and middle finger at me, pointing them like a little shooty gun.